We used to be in the same building with The Onion, so try to still keep up with my Onion reading! And this article was really a hoot and definitely struck a chord. Had me laughing out loud on the subway, which at east made sure that I had my own seat. I’ve included some excerpts below, but you should really read the whole thing. And you can almost see it happening!
More than 11,000 trendsetters, tastemakers, movers, and shakers gathered in Brooklyn's Williamsburg neighborhood Monday to declare a strike against the broad segment of the American population that they say routinely copies their fashions, musical tastes, and sensibilities. Should the strike persist, experts said, it could bring the pop-cultural life of the nation to a standstill.
Until the public accepts their demands, the strikers vow to wear only gray or blue utilitarian sweatpants or flannel, and refuse to listen to any synthesized music, wear makeup, shop at thrift stores, bake cupcakes, "make the scene," or discuss any potential trends or up-and-coming drugs.
The strikers are calling for public acknowledgment of their contributions as well as a retroactive 10-cent royalty on every trendy item sold since October 1995. This fee, to be paid by consumers for each trend they adopt, would be applied to cultural phenomena as diverse as Japanese toy miniatures and so-called "Strokes" haircuts, the latter actually pioneered by Dayton, OH sandwich-shop employee and Whip-It junkie Jarvis McClung in 1997.
If a collective-bargaining agreement cannot be reached, trendsetters will likely be replaced with scabs. Indeed, some second-rate trends have already begun sprouting up, as aspiring tastemakers—often the same people maligned by the ultrahip as "poseurs"—cross picket lines and attempt to fill the void left by the strike. Many of their ideas, such as adopting chinchillas as pets, are largely recycled, and, while their original innovations, such as wearing top hats and paper shoes, walking with crutches, and referring to friends as "Frankenstein," may seem forced, they could potentially be the only trends available for some time.
"None of my friends know what to do anymore," said 17-year-old Kari Hartley, a Fayetteville, AR high-school student who relies on lower-tier stores like Hot Topic for fashion cues. Already feeling the strike's pinch, Hartley has been wearing the same Von Dutch hat, silk-screened hooded sweatshirt, and "Don't Mess With Texas" beltbuckle—the most recent trends available to her before the strike. While acknowledging that the look is "stale," Hartley said she has little choice. "If this thing doesn't end soon, I might not be able to wear anything."
Link: U.S. Trendsetters Go On Strike | The Onion - America's Finest News Source.
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